personal blog.
----- » main tumblr blog here. » kpop graphics blog here. » taiwan blog here. » cheryl, 16i feel like my heart’s getting ripped out every time i look at anything related to taiwan. no, it’s all in my head, it’s all in my head. i want to convince myself that it’s all in my head but i can’t. my heart’s getting ripped out.
so depressed and emotionally drained by today, october 26.
- jongkyung
- people irl finding out about francisco
- hoot mv not being released
cheryl is a sad, sad girl.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
ohmygod i want to drop out of honors precalc. i don’t want to take physics next year but i need a gd science or i won’t be able to meet like any requirement for college what the fuck and okay i didn’t write my article like i wanted to but hey, the editor-in-chief didn’t write her part of our article so why the hell should i? alkdjghalskdgjhaskldgjhasdlg i’ll work on the article monday or tuesday. i’m going to fail the next math test ohmygod.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
can i just skip this year plz. I’D RATHER STRESS OVER COLLEGE APPS THAN THIS.
i don’t know what to do anymore. everyone’s off doing great things and not procrastinating and getting things done but here i am being so unproductive. this isn’t working for me and i don’t know how to fix this. i don’t have the motivation or the self-discipline to work, and i don’t know. i don’t mind not doing anything and just doing things i like - playing around on photoshop, writing, listen to music, watch videos, and sleep. do i give in too much to indulgences? i know i do this to myself and i don’t know how to fix this and i don’t really want to fix this. this kind of guilt isn’t working for me. i’m doing the things i want to but i know that if i don’t lose myself a bit and work harder in making a life so i can survive, there’s just no way.
this isn’t working.
i don’t want to fix this.
i’m overridden by the guilt of what i should be doing.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion; or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
YES I GOT THIS
this isn’t directed to anyone but
WHY ON EARTH WOULD SOMEONE TAKE APUSH IF THEY WEREN’T INTO HISTORY? SERIOUSLY. i really really dislike people who just take classes just to look impressive, and not because they really want to. -______- if someone takes apush and thinks the class is boring, THEN DON’T TAKE IT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DROP OUT AND TAKE A CLASS YOU WANT TO TAKE. nobody in college will care if you took apush if you are some mathematics or science major KTHX.
- i wish i could meet my online friends: lynn, kara, sabs, linda, jazz, and even the cool kpop rpers i just met summer, kendall, and bri.
- this summer went by way too fast.
- i sleep at 4 and wake up at 1 or 2.
- addicted to editing on photoshop.
- addicted to kpop, but only mostly shinee and sme, fml.
- i am almost certain my cousin hates me.
- i love/hate sat class.
- i wish i had friends like my online friends at school.
- i’m going to miss this summer.
- i don’t want to grow up.
- i don’t want to be sixteen.
- just one more week and i’ll be done.
- i can’t wait for my sleepover with allison and diane, whenever it’s going to happen.
- shinee shinee shinee shinee shinee.
- shinee makes up my life so much right now.
- i don’t really mind.
- i feel so awkward being next to koreans because it feels like i obsess over their culture or something and i feel embarrassed even though i am not obsessing over their culture, just a band.
- i do nothing.
- i want to write.
- i want to make things look pretty.
- i want to be something.
- i think i’ve discovered some things about myself this summer.
- i don’t think i’m so depressed anymore.
- i know the previous statement is going to change once school starts.
- why does school suck so much?
- why does school suck so much?
- why does school suck so much?
- i want to know.
- i want to know everything.
- so much to do, so little time.
- i haven’t done half of the things i’ve wanted to do this summer.
- what to do what to do what to do
- i need to go to sleep now
- this feels like months of anxiety and depression and thought and sadness spilling into a single post.
- i don’t know.
- can’t someone just understand?
100806
i’m tired. today was a great day. worked two hours straight with joseph at our station under a huge sun and then got pelted with water balloons and soaked by buckets full of water by alex, james, jonathan, and joseph p, and i got all dirty and wet and gross and alex kept trying to get me completely wet by hugging me and throwing sponges at me and it was horrible but i had so much fun. my ice cream popsicle broke in half and one half fell on the ground so that sucked. then i chilled with james, joseph, and samuel and it was all just fun fun fun. :]
sometimes i wish that i went to ahs instead of whs because i have friends that understand me and have things in common with me there, friends that i relate to, friends that make me laugh about the stupidest things, friends who aren’t afraid to pour buckets of water on me or pelt water balloons at me, and basically friends who define what friendship is to me. i don’t know. i don’t know. i love my friends at whs, but most of the time, i don’t and i can’t feel that way with them, and it’s strange to me. naturally, my friends at whs should be the ones i feel closer to, and not my friends at another school. this is such a conflicting thought that i don’t know what to think when it comes up. i don’t know what to think. i feel like i’m almost betraying my whs friends, but at the same time, i also feel that i do not owe them anything. the way i act around my whs and ahs friends are so different, and maybe it’s because i only see my ahs friends every other day, and i don’t know what to think.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.
I don’t care if you believe in a higher power like God, so long as you believe in him for the right reasons: believing in God for mental, emotional, and/or spiritual balance or guidance. But when you exploit and abuse the words your God says, that’s just plain stupid. Whether you’re Christian, Jewish, Islamic, or whatever you believe in, if you abuse your balance, you’re just as bad as the radicals. You’re probably the biggest hypocrite in the world. So you say “real Christians” only seek for “Love” SO WHY ARE SO MANY OF YOU DISCRIMINATING AGAINST SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE?! I don’t know about you, but I want to be open-minded and accept everyone for who they are, regardless of their own beliefs BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT YOUR BELIEFS, YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE, AND IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Hypocrite.
I know you could say that I’m being a hypocrite right now because I’m hating on exploiting Christians, but everyone’s a hypocrite. Just plain lying and telling lame excuses is just despicable.
FOR MY FUTURE REFERENCE, whenever I’m angry at this topic again, so I can laugh at my genius:
and also i don’t know why he always says the exact same thing whenever something like this pops up
(9:55:49 PM): like idc if you believe in a higher power, but people like eric are just bs -_-
(9:56:35 PM): ”OH NO GAYS ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED THE WORLD IS ENDING. SOON PEOPLE WILL START MARRYING DOGS”
me 9:57 pm
(9:57:02 PM): sorry i need to rant and you’re one of the few people who aren’t christian that i know -_-
9:57 pm
(9:57:07 PM): ahaha
(9:57:10 PM): its cool
(9:57:24 PM): i honestly don’t get it either
(9:57:30 PM): that one post i saw before
(9:57:56 PM): ’God isn’t real and Jesus doesn’t love you cause he lived thousands of years ago. Shut up.’
(9:58:21 PM): oh yeah and marrying a dog and marrying another humanbeing is the SAME FUCKING THING RIGHT
me 9:58 pm
(9:58:31 PM): TOTALLY
(9:58:34 PM): -______________-
9:58 pm
(9:58:35 PM): also
(9:58:40 PM): if someone wants to marry a dog
(9:58:43 PM): why the hell not
me 9:58 pm
(9:58:46 PM): EXACTLY
9:58 pm
(9:58:47 PM): it’s their own lives..
me 9:58 pm
(9:58:49 PM): it’s not our business!
9:58 pm
(9:58:52 PM): EX
(9:58:53 PM): ACT
(9:58:54 PM): LY
(9:58:56 PM): holy shit
9:59 pm
(9:59:04 PM): like a gay couple is getting married
(9:59:10 PM): how does that affeect ANYONE
(9:59:14 PM): effect
(9:59:14 PM): *
(9:59:17 PM): its
(9:59:21 PM): liek okay
(9:59:26 PM): theres a gay couple next to me
me 9:59 pm
(9:59:26 PM): IIIIIIIIIII FREAKING KNOW -_-
9:59 pm
(9:59:33 PM): OH MY I’M GONNA CATCH A DISEASE
me 9:59 pm
(9:59:42 PM): OHNOO~~~~~~!?!?!?!?LSKDJGA!
9:59 pm
(9:59:47 PM): -___________-
(9:59:50 PM): and also
(9:59:59 PM): i don’t get how people don’t believe in evolution
(10:00:02 PM): it’s not a theory
(10:00:04 PM): it’s the truth
me 10:00 pm
(10:00:07 PM): yeah!
10:00 pm
(10:00:12 PM): do they really think that Jesus created everyone?
me 10:00 pm
(10:00:13 PM): i mean, everything else can really be whatever
10:00 pm
(10:00:20 PM): Jesus was just a person
me 10:00 pm
(10:00:26 PM): yeah, and he was a JEW
(10:00:28 PM): LIKE SHYLOCK
(10:00:29 PM): GOD
10:00 pm
(10:00:31 PM): LOL
(10:00:34 PM): Shylock!
(10:00:40 PM): Shylock could be a god too
me 10:00 pm
(10:00:44 PM): YEAH!
(10:00:45 PM): omg
(10:00:48 PM): shylock created mankind
(10:00:49 PM): omgggggggggggg!
(10:00:51 PM): SHYLOCKISM
(10:00:52 PM): -_-
tanusree 10:01 pm
(10:01:40 PM): AHAHA
me 10:01 pm
(10:01:53 PM): like i mean, OKAY FINE that can be what you can believe in, but can’t you be a bit more open-minded, you know?
(10:02:02 PM): why do you have to insist that you don’t evolve?
(10:02:11 PM): LIKE PIKACHU
(10:02:16 PM): ASH NEVER LETS HIM EVOLVE
(10:02:22 PM): ASH = JESUS
tanusree 10:02 pm
(10:02:23 PM): AHAHAHAHHAA
(10:02:29 PM): holy crap dude
(10:02:33 PM): it all makes sense now
me 10:02 pm
(10:02:39 PM): subliminal messaging :O
10:03 pm
(10:03:06 PM): OHYESSS
(10:03:18 PM): i just
(10:03:22 PM): really don’t get
(10:03:32 PM): how people dont believe evolution
me 10:03 pm
(10:03:53 PM): same. especially when those people are like “NO. NO EVOLUTION” like they won’t even consider it
(10:03:54 PM): -_-
(10:04:08 PM): i guess it’s their religion, whatever
10:04 pm
(10:04:20 PM): yeah i guess
me 10:04 pm
(10:04:20 PM): if we hated them strictly because of that we’d slightly hypocritical
(10:04:22 PM): but whatever
(10:04:24 PM): >__________________________>
(10:04:33 PM): i don’t get them
10:04 pm
(10:04:40 PM): i never said i hate them
me 10:04 pm
(10:04:42 PM): but i don’t care BECAUSE IT’S NOT MY BUSINESS
(10:04:45 PM): and yeah i know you didnt x]
10:04 pm
(10:04:49 PM): i just don’t understand their practices
me 10:04 pm
(10:04:50 PM): my choice of words = fail
(10:04:55 PM): yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
(10:04:57 PM): exactly
when people have nothing to turn to but religion
(10:23:17 PM): it may as well be the excuse or w/e
me 10:23 pm
(10:23:29 PM): i don’t really care if they believe in a higher power
(10:23:40 PM): what i care about is that they exploit and abuse that belief
(10:23:42 PM): -_________________-
10:23 pm
(10:23:46 PM): oh like
(10:23:52 PM): ”w00t god will solve all my problems!”
me 10:24 pm
(10:24:33 PM): yeah pretty much
(10:24:52 PM): like okay, that’s cool if you believe in something that can help you be mentally or emotionally stronger
(10:25:00 PM): but then once you’re like ^ you’re just crazy
10:26 pm
(10:26:01 PM): that’s how religious people are
me 10:26 pm
(10:26:12 PM): yup
(10:26:20 PM):
more the reason for me to think that humans are stupid
